1/1/14 Some of my very wise teachers have said that to state an intention out loud is to make it real. My intention is to gain back what I have lost, and lose what I have gained.
Looking at my 13 year old I see me as I was, and I realize that my audacity has left me. I used to want to be the center of attention, the middle of every picture taken, the one up on stage who every eye was on. Where did that go?
I have gained weight, a lot of weight. I am not happy with how I look or feel, yet I know I am the one responsible for it. I haven't wanted to be be in pictures, in the spotlight, but I realize I really miss it.
So, for the next 365 days, I will exercise at least 30 minutes a day, and record what I have done here. I will get my food issues under control. I will not eat to tame the beast, I will exercise to placate it. I used to love to move, I want to find that again. And I will use this as an open letter to myself, and anyone else who stumbles upon it.
Today-
Treadmill for 30 minutes ( first intention made!)
20 minutes of weight lifting- arms and chest and abs
Food:
1/2 bagel with 2 tblsp crab cream cheese
Coffee with honey and coconut milk creamer
Kind Bar
to slices of ham and two slices of provolone rolled up and dipped in mustard
Tall Cafe Machiata
1/2 slice gingerbread cake
5 kinish with sour cream
1 godiva choclate
